Was I Drunk?

   I find myself thinking a lot about my most recent ex, and as it didn’t end that long ago I don’t really blame myself for reminiscing on the good old days. But apparently I must have been drunk through my good old days with said lover, because the way things ended really didn’t make it seem like we had anything good going for us at all.

   When it comes to love, never feel like you have to be sure, unless this fella is down on one knee and proposing. Make sure you’re with them because they make you happy and that you will be willing to overcome any obstacle when it comes to being with them. In my case, I wasn’t sure I was going to be with this person for the rest of my life, which is fine because I’m only in my early adult years, but I knew that it didn’t matter what came between us; until I no longer felt love in my heart for him, I would overcome any obstacle to be with him.

   Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough, and I’m slowly starting to realize that that is going to happen. You can’t always be enough for someone, and that’s where marriage gets confusing to me. How can we expect everything from just one person? Not saying I believe in having more than one wife or husband, but I feel as though we can never really be sure we made the right choice in loving someone. What we do have to be sure of, is that we did everything we knew we could do to make that person happy, and that’s what makes true love.

   I personally get a great deal out of doing things for others. I feel needed, important and I also feel a great sense of accomplishment, as if someone else could not have done what I did for him or her. Are those bad feelings? No. Was I happy? Yes. But in the end, I ended up feeling a lot of hurt that I thought could have been avoided by staying together.

   Alas, life does not work that way so when the dark cloud hanging over your head subsides, you’re allowed to take a look at what your side of it and come to terms with what happened. Maybe get a little drunk first, make your rebound or whatever you have to do, but make sure you don’t miss out on the reflection period that comes with realizations about yourself and the relationship. I for one believe that my recent lover and I could some day have a wonderful happy relationship together, which is why I’m choosing to hold on but move on as well, and if you have that hope too, don’t be ashamed of it. Cherish the good memories that you can remember and make sure to let go of all the bitter feelings of resentment we all know we are keeping close to our hearts. 

   I realize that the picture used to represent this latest blog post is probably in a more comical and negative sense used towards the actual ex, but I personally think that it can work in both contexts.