Float On

     How many times have we all felt that enough is enough, that trying is no longer an option and that you are giving up entirely on what is known as "life"? Honestly, I know I have felt that way many times and don't see those feelings ending anytime soon. Those feelings are hard to control. Sometimes they take you off guard, creep up on you and then *SLAP* "SURPRISE!"..... But there is something that we can do about the aftermath that comes along with these feelings.

    Have you ever looked to the sky when a young child has mistakenly let go of their balloon, and watch it float up and up until you can no long see it? Even though I know that somewhere a child is heartbroken and crying, I relish in the thought of where that balloon will end up and feel a sensation of relief and wonder so deep that I never want it to end.

     Fortunately for me, I have found a way to keep that feeling when I need it most, and that is when I feel like the bottomless pit that is negativity has trapped me and is holding on very tight. When things feel bad, I imagine that all of my negative feelings are being put into a balloon, much like helium. Most times the balloon grows bigger and bigger, always close to bursting but never does. When I get to the point of no return, I let the balloon go from my tight grasp. I watch it float away, and hold onto those amazing feelings of relief and wonder as I float, just for a second, with no negative feelings inside my heart.

Pleading Letter

Oh, My Secret...

     Do you not think that last night was a sign? I wish you could see how things could be for us if you just told me I was good enough. Do you smile at her, but think of me? Do you laugh at her voice but wish it were mine? And when, pray-tell, do you stop pretending and just let things be as they feel they were meant to?
     "Please, just stop.....".. or atleast that is what I wish I could say to you.. But I do not posses the power or strength to do so..
     As long as you smile, I suppose it is alright.

Yours, forever as it seems..

Whisper.

Another Letter

Oh, My Secret;

     Thank you for being there today. Then again, do you even know you were there? Did you know that my smile, my quiet laugh, was all for you? How many times will you look through me and make me feel invisible yet good at the same time?
   My dearest secret.. will we have a time? 

Yours,

Whisper.

My Secret

To my Dearest Secret,


     The desire to warm your heart is overwhelming, the hope to make you smile is strong. If only I could say many words to your deep eyes to make you hold my future in your hands. I am weak, I am not worthy, which is why you shall remain my secret.
     I will hold you in my palm, I will carry you in my pocket, I will keep you close to my heart and far from my lips, for all you deserve is miles away from my reach. Someday, I will be good enough, but that day will be too late, as you will only be a whisper in my shadow.
     So, my dearest secret, how shall we continue? Stolen glances, heart beats shared, omniscient and insecure as I am, I can't help but walk two steps behind you, to memories the smell of you, your smile, your laugh, preparing for the day that you will be just a mere faint memory for me. These easy times are difficult for me, as always, but I will fight through the tight squeeze that is placed around my heart, I will be there for as long as you see fit to keep me there, but I will always remain aware that I am not going to be the reason that you stay.
     And it is for that reason alone, that you are my secret. The deepest secret of my heart.

Yours,

Whisper.

Find Something That Keeps Your Heart Smiling

     Investing in a therapy pet was one of the biggest gambles that I had embarked on and had my rabbit of been a lottery ticket, I would have won big.

     I don't even know where to start when it comes to talking about the benefits that Thor has bequest on me. I did a lot of research before making the final decision, knowing that I had to make sure that I could handle her properly, no matter how much I wanted her. The best advice I could ever give someone would me to adopt or take on a rabbit if they are looking for some form of self-therapy.

     To make it simple, she puts a smile on my face, loves when I give her attention, gives me kisses and snuggles, as well as the never ending responsibility of looking after something that is more afraid of the world than I am. She is giving me the opportunity to treat her the way I want to treat people who deserve it, without the hurt that comes along with it (mind you, there are hurts such as her dying). Thor has helped me realize that I don't want to dote on one specific person because I am ready to settle down, but that I just need something or someone to rid the excess energy and affection I have because I have so much pent up inside me. This has happened, for reasons that only i can fathom, because in any relationship I have been in I have always been the one doing all the work with the other just cruising a long for the ride. My need to take care of and smother others comes from the fact that that is what I am used to, and it is taken the wrong way by others.

    Having Thor has also relieved a lot of stress that I have from the simple fact that she is excited to see me when I get home (only because she gets to be fed) and I can take her to the park and watch her run around and have so much fun.  A lot of the research that I did helps me understand her way of communication that has been figured out thus far by the bunny lovers of the world, which helps me stop doing things she dislikes and continue doing the things she loves. I honestly feel I have a pretty happy bunny and she makes me pretty happy too.